Sadly, I don’t have a lot of memories from my childhood, nor from high school. I have vague general impressions of what it was like, but don’t remember many specific things that happened. I’m not sure why. I had a lot of great experiences with good friends and a wonderful family. But it seems like frequently someone will mention something they remember, and I don’t have any recollection of it.
A theme that pops up frequently in Joe Posnanski’s The Soul of Baseball is the struggle to hang on to memories. As much as Buck O’Neil was beloved for the stories he would share about his life, it’s apparent that by the time of the writing of the book, O’Neil was struggling to hang on to his memories.
“I think (forgetting) is the only thing that scares him,” a friend said about O’Neil early in the book. “Dying doesn’t scare him. Forgetting does.”
And a few chapters later, O’Neil addressed the concept: “You haven’t forgotten. You just think you have…Those stories aren’t gone. They’re just behind a few cobwebs.”
I’m not very well informed on how memory works. I know there is a difference between being able to memorize things, or remembering where you put your keys, and being able to recall experiences from years ago. It’s a concept that scares me. I don’t like thinking that I won’t remember the things I want from this beautiful life.
A couple of things I am trying, in hopes that they help, are 1) journaling the events of every day, and 2) telling stories to others when I remember them. My wife and kids are probably sick of hearing these stories, but I feel like speaking them out loud compounds them in my memory. My closest friends have taken to calling me “Glory Days.”
People were enamored by O’Neil’s ability to tell colorful stories from an obscure portion of history. He had the benefit of being asked to tell his stories over and over. So retelling them kept them fresh in his mind.
But he also had to deal with the pressure of keeping those memories fresh even in his old age – he was still giving performances and interviews well into his 90s. He had to feel an intense burden as one of the last living standard bearers for the pre-World War II era of the Negro Leagues.
O’Neil did all he could to make sure that history was preserved. “I sure wish I could remember everything,” he said in the book. “So much to remember.”
The Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library is sponsoring a community read of The Soul of Baseball, and has dozens of copies available. I will participate in a group discussion of the book on Feb. 16. Then Posnanski will be at the library on Feb. 17 to talk about O’Neil, the book and his experiences.